am I dating an abuser?

Not all abuse is easily recognizable like hitting or raging or rape.

Here are some more subtle signs of an abusive relationship:

Is the relationship either hot or cold, not a steady good?

Does he get quiet and sullen, which causes you to wonder what you did wrong?

Do you find yourself trying to fix problems in your relationship often?

Did he commit to you very early in the relationship, saying that no one ever made him feel the way that you do?

Does he tell you that you’re lucky to have him?

Does he have few friends, especially those with whom he spends much time?

Does he have an unstable work history, frequent unemployment or job changes?

Do you feel like you have to “talk him up” to your friends and family, making him look better than he acts or seems to them?

Do you make excuses for him and his behavior?

Does he try to keep you to himself, limiting your time with your friends and family or even your time by yourself?

Does he have a bad temper triggered by something seemingly insignificant? Do you often not even know what set them off?

Does he shift blame onto you and say problems are your fault?

Does he withdraw love, friendship or approval as punishment for not getting his way?

Does he have problems with authority figures?

Do you sometimes feel like you’re crazy?

Do you have a feeling that something is wrong but don’t quite know what it is?

Is the relationship having a negative effect on the rest of your life?

If even one of these signs is present in your relationship, seriously evaluate whether or not you should remain in it. The likelihood that it will get worse is great, and there is more at stake if the relationship continues. You are worth so much more.

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